Mar 27, 2018
I was born in a Chinese Christian family, and my grandmother always used to take me to the church for gatherings and to sing hymns in praise of God when I was young…. After I grew up I obtained some grace of the Lord and experienced some of the Lord’s deeds, and I felt even more that the Lord is trustworthy. The Lord’s love for people is the truest, and the Lord’s word has authority and power and can give people hope. Whenever I would sing hymns, pray to the Lord, and read the word of the Lord, I would feel especially steady and tranquil in my heart. I came to the USA in 2007, and was baptized at church in October of 2010, when I began my service. At that time, my heart was impassioned. Because my house was far away from the church, I had to get up at 5:00 to take the subway there. But I felt a sweetness in my heart and that as long as I could satisfy God then suffering these hardships would be worth it. I took part in everything in the church, big or small, and I gained a lot of enlightenment from reading the Bible. But after a few years, without knowing why, when I listened to pastors I would doze off. I didn’t get any clear enlightenment from reading the Bible, and my spirit often sank down into weakness. When the pastor preached, I thought it was the same old cliches, without any new light. Every time I was at a gathering, as soon as it was over, the brothers and sisters would start chatting about things that had nothing to do with believing in the Lord. Some would be selling insurance, some would act as matchmakers, and still others talked about where they were going to go on vacation…. Seeing all this, I couldn’t help but be reminded of what was recorded in the Bible about how at the end of the Age of Law, when Jesus came to carry out His work, the Jews were doing business in the temple selling oxen and sheep and doves. When Jesus saw this, he overturned the moneychangers’ tables and the stools of those selling doves. He reprimanded them for having turned a temple for worshiping God into a den of thieves. Seeing the churches of today having become just like the temple was at that time was something that especially caused me to feel pain and helplessness in my heart. I was also perplexed and couldn’t understand how the church could have changed like this. For this reason, I would often come into the presence of God and lament bitterly, “Oh Lord! Where are You? The churches are already no longer churches, and most people just say they believe in You, but their hearts are actually very far from You. All that they do does not receive Your praise. Lord! Where are You? When will You come to receive us? …”