 |
| Picture of The Church of Almighty God |
Christian Testimonies | After the Afflictions, I Have a Firmer Love for God (Part II )
Jan 19, 2015
Zhang Ren Jiangxi Province
After arriving at the police station, the evil cops hurried to the fire stove to warm themselves up, and they questioned me harshly with fierce looks, “Speak quickly! What’s your name? How many people have you preached to? Who do you contact with? Who is your leader?” Seeing that I said nothing, one evil cop showed his beastly nature. He rushed toward me and fiercely held my neck and kept hitting my head against the wall hard. I felt disoriented with my ears buzzing. Then he raised his fist and hit my face and head violently. While hitting me, he cursed, “Shit! You’re a leader, aren’t you? Say it! If you don’t tell me, today I’ll hang you to the roof and freeze you to death!” The evil cops kept beating me up for at least over half an hour. I was beaten so hard that I saw stars and my nose bled unceasingly. Failing to get any result from me, they escorted us to the Public Security Bureau. On the way, when I thought of the evil cops’ fierce beating just now, I couldn’t help feeling a wave of fear, “They laid such malicious hands on me at the police station. If I’m sent to the Public Security Bureau, I don’t know what cruel means the evil cops there will use to torture me. I’m afraid I’ll be in danger this time, and may not be able to get out alive….” Thinking of that, I felt an inexpressible despair and sadness in my heart. In agony and helplessness, I suddenly remembered the experience last year when I was tortured so much that I was on the verge of death but God made me survive miraculously. I felt enlightened in my heart at once, “Isn’t my life and death in God’s hand? Without God’s permission, no matter how satan tries to put me to death, it won’t succeed. In the past, I already saw God’s wonderful deed, yet today how can I forget it? How can I have no faith in God?” Then, I saw that I was really too small in stature and that when I encountered the trial of death, I couldn’t stand on God’s side. I couldn’t help remembering God’s words, “Living in the mind, you will fall into satan’s trap and come to a dead end. Now, it is very simple. Look to me with your heart, and immediately you will be strong in your spirit and have ways of practice. I will lead you at your every step, and my word will be revealed to you anywhere and anytime. No matter when and where it is and how adverse the environment is, as long as your heart looks to me, I will surely let you see clearly, my heart will surely be revealed to you, and you will not get lost when running forward.” (from “The Thirteenth Piece of Word” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) God’s word is the guiding light, making my mind clearer. I realized this: Now God wants to purify and perfect me through such a hard environment, making me drop my own notions and imaginations and only rely on God and act according to his word at the time of danger and difficulty. This is just the crucial moment when God leads me to experience his work. I’ll never draw back. I’ll completely commit my life and death into God’s hand and rely on God to fight against satan to the end. I can never miss this opportunity of being perfected by God.
After arriving at the Public Security Bureau, the cops began to interrogate us separately. They continued to force me to tell about things concerning my believing in God. Because I said nothing all the time, an evil cop flew into a rage, “How dare you play silent with us? I don’t have the patience!” Saying that, he seized my collar with both hands, and fiercely threw me to the ground like pitching a sandbag. Right then, the other evil cops came up together and kicked and stomped me violently. I ached so much that I writhed on the ground. And then they trod on my head and ground it violently back and forth…. I was still not well enough after last year’s cruel tortures, and today I suffered such a brutal beating again. Immediately, I felt dizzy and sick. Severely painful all over, I huddled up. Then, the evil cops forcibly took off my shoes and socks and forced me to stand on the floor. My teeth couldn’t help chattering, and my feet were numb and senseless with cold. I felt that I couldn’t bear any longer and would collapse on the ground at any time. Confronted with the evil cops’ cruel tortures, I couldn’t help burning with anger and being filled with indignation. I hated those extremely ferocious devilish lackeys and the evil and reactionary CCP government. It opposes Heaven and is hostile to God. In order to force me to betray and reject God, it afflicted and tortured me and attempted to put me to death. Facing satan’s cruelty and ferocity, I missed God’s love all the more. For the sake of saving mankind, for the sake of our future existence, God endures great humiliations and sufferings and personally comes to the world to work. He once laid down his life for us; now he expresses the words earnestly and patiently and leads us to walk the way of pursuing the truth to be saved…. Counting the painstaking care and price God has expended for saving mankind, I felt that only God loves me the most and only God values my life the most, while satan can only afflict me and devour and kill me. At that time, I even more felt attached to God and adored God in my heart. I couldn’t help praying to God silently, “O God! Thank you for leading and saving me like this. Today, no matter how satan tortures me, I will do my best to cooperate with you, and would rather die than yield and give in to it!” Under the encouragement of God’s love, although my flesh was tortured weak, I was strong and powerful within, and I never yielded to the evil cops. They kept torturing me until 1 a.m. As they really couldn’t get any result, they had to send me to the detention house.
After I was taken there, the evil cops instigated a prison bully to fix me by every possible means. At that time, I was already covered with bruises by their torments, limp all over, so I fell headfirst to the cold floor as soon as I entered the cell. Seeing that, the prison bully lifted me up without a word and swung his fist to punch my head violently. I was beaten senseless and then collapsed on the ground heavily. Later, the prisoners all came to tease me. I was forced to put one of my hands on the ground and cover my ear with the other, moving around on the ground like a pair of compasses. Seeing that I collapsed dizzily after a few circles, they punched and kicked me again. One of them gave me a heavy punch in my stomach and knocked me out then and there. Afterward, instigated by the prison guards, the prisoners tortured and maltreated me by various means every day. They asked me to do all the dirty and hard work every day, such as washing dishes and cleaning the toilet, and they even forced me to have cold showers in snowy days. Moreover, each time I took the shower, they forced me to soap myself down first, and then had cold water flow slowly from my head to my feet for about half an hour. I was frozen purple and shivered with cold all over. Facing that inhuman torture and affliction, I prayed to God unceasingly, for fear that I would completely become a captive of satan if I left God. Through the prayer, God’s words were guiding me within all the time, “The overcomer God speaks about is one who, under the influence of satan and the siege of satan, that is, in the forces of darkness, can still stand the testimony, and can still keep his original faith and keep his faithfulness to God. In any case, you can still keep your pure heart before God and keep your true love for God. Thus you have stood the testimony before God. This is the overcomer God speaks about.” (from “You Should Hold on to Your Faithfulness to God” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) God’s word is light, the light to save man, making my mind become clear. I realized this: When I’m besieged by satan, it’s just the time for me to have faithfulness and love for God, and it’s also the time for God to perfect and gain me. Although this hard environment brings pains and torments to my flesh, there are God’s great love and blessing hidden behind it. This blessing is the way of eternal life God bestows to man. So, when undergoing sufferings, I told myself again and again, “I must endure to the end and accept God’s personal perfection and purification of the end time. I should rely on God’s leading to bear testimony for God in the devil’s dark den, and pursue to be perfected by God to be an overcomer.” Under the guiding and leading of God’s words, I became strong and powerful in my heart. Even if my flesh was weak and painful, I still had faith to endure everything to fight a life-and-death war against satan, and bear testimony for God with my life.
After being imprisoned for over twenty days, I suddenly caught a bad cold. I felt aching in my limbs, weak all over, and was in a daze. As my illness got worse and the prisoners beat and tortured me endlessly, I felt I could no longer hold on. I was very weak and depressed in my heart, thinking, “When will such days of being tortured and afflicted come to an end? Probably I’m going to be sentenced this time, and there’s little hope of my getting out alive….” At that thought, I felt as if my heart had fallen into the abyss all at once. I sank in despair and misery and couldn’t extricate myself. At the time of danger and difficulty, a hymn of God’s word resounded in my ears, “God’s requirement is not that you have many pleasant words or many gripping stories in your mouth, but that you bear a good testimony for God and you go deep into reality in everything. … Stop thinking about your own future, but do as you say in your resolution ‘to submit to God’s manipulation in everything.’ All those who stand in God’s house should do all you can and offer your best portion for the last part of God’s work on earth. Are you really willing to practice this way?” (from “Can You Really Submit to God’s Manipulation” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs) Every word of God struck my heart and made me feel disgraced and ashamed. I thought, “Before I wept bitterly many times and resolved to be faithful to God and obey his manipulation and arrangement in everything. But now, when God really needs me to satisfy him with an actual price, I fear death, care about the future and destiny of my flesh, and completely ignore God’s will, only wanting to break away from the adverse environment and escape to a safe place soon. I’m really so low and worthless, and my faith in God is too little and my deception to God is too much. I don’t have true consecration to God, much less any true obedience.” Then I understood this: In God’s end-time work, what God wants is man’s true love and faithfulness; this is God’s last requirement and charge to man. I, as a believer in God, should commit my whole being into God’s hand, because my life is given by God and my life and death are both decided by God. Since I’ve chosen God, I should offer up myself for God and submit to his manipulation. No matter what suffering and humiliation I have to endure, I should be faithful to God by my actual actions and shouldn’t have my own choice or demand. This is my duty and the sense I should have. Today, that I can still have this breath and still live is completely because of God’s keeping and care and the supply of God’s life. Otherwise, wouldn’t I have long been afflicted to death by the devils? The first time when I underwent such a great suffering and tribulation, God led me to overcome it. So, what reason do I have to lose faith in God now? How can I still be passive and weak and flinch and escape? Thinking of that, I silently repented to God, “O Almighty God! I’m too selfish and greedy. I only want to enjoy your love and blessings, but I’m not willing to truly consecrate myself to you. Once I suffer a little, I want to get free and escape. I’ve really grieved your heart. O God! I’m no longer willing to continue to be depressed, but willing to obey your manipulation and arrangement and accept your leading. Even if I’ll be imprisoned for life, I’ll stand testimony for you; even if I’m tortured to death, I’ll be faithful to you!” After the prayer, my heart was moved greatly. Although my illness remained, in my heart I had the faith and resolution to never give up until I satisfy God. When I resolved to bear testimony for God even at the cost of my life, God again personally made a way out for me. One morning, when getting out of bed, I had no sensation in my feet. I couldn’t stand up at all, much less walk. At first, the evil cops didn’t believe it. They thought that I was pretending and forced me to stand up. But I failed no matter how hard I tried. The next day, the guards came to examine me. When they found that my feet were cold as ice, without any sign of the blood circulating at all, they believed that I was really paralyzed. Then, they informed my family to take me back home. On the very day I arrived home, I regained the feeling in my feet miraculously and could walk perfectly! I deeply knew it was all because Almighty God showed consideration for my weakness and personally made a way out for me so that I successfully escaped from satan’s den after being unlawfully detained by the CCP government for one month.
In experiencing the CCP government’s two times of arrests and brutal tortures, although I suffered a little in my flesh and even nearly died, those two uncommon experiences became a firm foundation on the way of my believing in God. In sufferings and tribulations, Almighty God gave me the most practical watering of the truth and life supply. It caused me to see clearly the CCP government’s devilish face of hating the truth and being against God, know its towering crimes of frenziedly resisting God and persecuting the believers of God, and also experience the power and authority of God’s word. I could narrowly escape death twice from the CCP’s talons and it was completely the care and mercy of God’s love, and was even more the expression and proof of God’s transcendent life force. I deeply felt that at any time and in any place, Almighty God is my only reliance and salvation. All my life, no matter what danger and tribulation I may encounter, I’ll steadfastly follow Almighty God, actively proclaim God’s word and testify God’s name, and repay God’s love with my true consecration.
From The Church of Almighty God
No comments:
Post a Comment